You might be having PMS when you get to work after no sleep and you realize you left your delicious Christmas-y flavored coffee in the coffee press on your counter AT HOME, and you cry in the car. You actually lie your head on the steering wheel and you cry. Because of a coffee.
You might be having PMS if you’ve watched nothing but mushy love Hallmark Christmas movies for 24 hours and you decide that you need to date a harmonica playing barista. Preferably with his own coffee shop, but whatever, you’re not that picky.
You might be having PMS if the sound of ice swooshing around in your kid’s drink of water makes you want to MOVE. Houses.
You might be having PMS if your underwear keep sliding down inside your jeans and you have to keep reaching down inside the ass of your pants to jack them back up and you really want to punch someone EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
But you don’t punch anyone, because that would be wrong. You choose to wipe your tears, deep breathe, and know that tomorrow will surely be much better…a new day, with new underwear.
You stop crazy coffee crying and you strut your ass into work. On time. With cute hair. WHAT? Yeah, you rocked it, girl! You are damn impressed with your ability to get your shit back together.
You high five yourself.
You sit down at your desk and take a big ol’ drink of icy cold water to wash down some drugs, and the water does that sploosh directly out onto your face thing and even gets you in the maa effn’ eye.
Fuck it. I’m punching people.
Yours, with high fives and cussing.