Dear 2018: You’ve been fucking beautiful.

On the last day of 2018, I am drinking my favorite peppermint latte, in my favorite cafe, in my favorite cozy seat, and I’m reflecting back on the last year.

I can proudly say that this was the year I feel like I finally got my shit together. It’s been over seven years since I’ve been separated and finally, finally I feel like I’m exactly where I should be. This is the year that I became officially divorced and the closure has felt good. Really good. I’ve forgiven myself. My kids are happy, and I am happy. I have felt things this year that I’ve never felt before. I had the best kiss of my life this year. Just typing that makes my chest flush. I have taken risks, and overcome fears, and I have grown. Grown to accept myself, just as I am. And I’ve grown to trust in myself and my decisions.

The name of this blog doesn’t really fit anymore, because I’ve found Nicole. And she’s a bad ass. She is perfectly imperfect and I like her.

Tonight I will ring in 2019 with my lifelong closest friends and my beautiful sissy. People who’ve known me and who have loved me since I was fifteen years old. Through the time I shaved off the sides of my hair and accidentally gave myself sideburns, and that year I plucked my left eyebrow right off; through every bad haircut and perm; through finding out who my birth father was, and through losing him; through every heartache and every accomplishment; through marriage, kids, and divorce; through my lesbian period and every relationship in between; through every single crazy move I’ve made – – they’ve simply loved me. These are people who loved my mom right along with me, and who miss her too. Simply put, they’re my people.

We all live close by and although we don’t see each other often, because life and kids and careers, we know that we are always there. We are just always there. No matter what. No matter when. Without judgement. With total acceptance.

There really is no better feeling to bring in a new year than knowing that you have loved and that you are loved.

I could not be a luckier girl.

Happy New Year, babes. I wish you love.

With high fives and cussing,

Nicole xx

 

 

 

Author: Finding Nicole

I enjoy high fives & cussing.

One thought on “Dear 2018: You’ve been fucking beautiful.”

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